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Family mealtimes can be difficult for parents when it comes to feeding children. As a parent, it can be disheartening to spend time cooking a nourishing and tasty meal only to have your child refuse to eat it. If you find the dinner table is a ground for constant battles, our in-house team from The Lifestyle Dietitian encourages you to try a method called “The Division of Responsibility”.
The Division of Responsibility is a feeding concept developed by American Dietitian and Psychotherapist Ellyn Satter. It distinguishes your role as the parent and your child’s role as the eater when it comes to feeding. It is underpinned by the idea that the “parent provides” whilst the “child decides”, which is a great foundation to ensuring smooth mealtimes.
At both meal and snack times, parents decide:
What is on the menu
Parents decide the food provided at mealtimes. Choose food which strikes the balance between nutrition and practicality. Avoid being a short order cook and catering to your child’s likes and dislikes. Instead, provide one meal which includes at least one “safe” food your child enjoys. It is helpful to involve your child in this decision by offering options to encourage their independence. Stick to two options as opposed to openly asking your child what they want. For example, offer to make tuna or chicken sandwiches for lunch. Or, ask if your child would like apples or cookies with their yoghurt.
When meals are scheduled
Maintaining a consistent and regular eating schedule is important. It helps your child build a sense of security that food is consistently available and regulates their appetites. This allows your child to avoid coming to mealtimes either overly hungry or too full.
Where food is offered
Serve food ideally at the table away from distractions. This encourages your child to tune into their hunger and fullness cues. Your child needs to associate mealtimes with positive feelings so including good conversation without food pressure is important. Instead of praising, bribing and rewarding certain foods, be a role model and demonstrate eating a variety of foods at mealtimes.
Children decide:
If they are going to eat
Children are very intuitive when it comes to eating. They are less prone to overeating and more in tune with their hunger and fullness. If your child chooses not to eat that is perfectly fine! Stay calm, encourage them to sit at the table and avoid pressure eating or substituting favourite foods – this only encourages more food refusal and fussiness in the long-term. A skipped meal or two won’t hurt a healthy child.
How much they will eat
Your child may choose to eat very little or go back for seconds (and thirds!). Whilst this can be worrying, allow your child to decide how much to eat and avoid commenting. This will foster a positive relationship with food and a healthy ability to understand and respond to their internal appetites.
By focusing on the what, when and where of feeding and trusting your child to determine the if and how much, a healthier relationship with food will be developed.
Article by The Lifestyle Dietitian.
