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(and more helpful things to say instead)
For many people, the festive season means getting together with others and celebrating with an abundance of food and Christmas cheer. During this time, it’s important to reflect on the language we use around food, movement and body, as the language we use can really leave a mark on our little ones.
With this in mind, the team at The Lifestyle Dietitian has come up with a list of common unhelpful comments that come up around Christmas time, and some more helpful ways of framing these. Have you heard any of these before?
While the intentions are good (feeling uncomfortably full isn’t fun for anyone!), these comments don’t always deliver the outcome we want. We know that children are born with fantastic hunger and fullness cues that tell them how much they need to grow in a way that is right for them. The amount of food kids need from day to day can fluctuate dramatically, so it can be hard to pick how much they need in the moment.
Try this instead: Take a step back and let the volume of food that your kids eat be guided by their tummies. As a result, they will be better able to learn to trust their inner hunger/fullness cues and regulate their food intake as they grow up.
If there’s one thing we love about food, it’s that it doesn’t have a moral compass. If we eat an apple, we aren’t helping an old lady across the street, and if we have a bite of chocolate cake, we aren’t robbing a bank. Labelling food as “good” and “bad” can build guilt and shame around particular food groups, and can take the fun away from some enjoyable foods.
Try this instead: talk about all food in a neutral way. All food serves a purpose, whether it’s feeding our bodies or feeding our souls.
In the same way that we don’t love our weight or body shape to be in the spotlight, our kids don’t benefit from it either. While this comment may come from other family members, it can set kids up to view their bodies critically from a young age.
Try this instead: steer the conversation away from weight/shape and gently encourage family members to do the same. Placing less emphasis on weight/body shape means that this is less likely to be a focus for your child growing up and encourages them to have a healthy relationship with food and body.
Lots of parents have grown up with this comment, and it’s a hard one to shake! By forcing kids to finish their plate, we run the risk of overriding their fullness cues and teaching them to eat past the point of fullness.
Try this instead: “it’s ok if you leave a bit on your plate, it’s better to listen to your body when it tells you it’s full”.
Did you know that children as young as 3-5 years old can pick up on dieting behaviours from their parents? While throwaway comments like this can often be said as a joke, they can stick with our little ones and send the message that we need to ‘earn’ our fun foods by compensating with extra exercise later.
Try this instead: Have the cheesecake and take it in with your five senses to savour the experience and get the most satisfaction possible. Reflect on how satisfied you feel after each mouthful and pop your fork down when it is no longer giving you much joy. Your kids will see this and learn through watching your behaviours and language around food.
Telling kids that they need to finish their vegetables before they can get dessert puts sweets on a pedestal, by sending the message that they have to finish the chore first before they can get the reward. We like to think of fun foods as a pendulum – the more they are restricted, the more likely they are to be overeaten. By treating all foods equally, we lower the pendulum, which helps children enjoy a mix of whole foods and fun foods without guilt, and better regulate the volume of fun foods they eat.
Try this instead: let your kids enjoy a mix of whole foods and fun foods without judgement. If they are too young to plate up their food, you may help them choose a mix of whole foods and fun foods based on their preferences.
